目前日期文章:200910 (6)

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今天饒老師的演講讓全場從頭笑到尾  離上次聽過的演講後功力更顯增加

她有很多實例分享 我想這就是她演講的核心內容

與大家本有成見不同 打破既定的思考方式

談到單身不錯結婚也好的同時還導正大家對同性戀的觀念

說今天有同志大遊行 如果不是這場演講她就會到台北參加(so do I)

很喜歡她開放的觀念  如果我有天想繼續讀心理 她將是我的榜樣

如她所說 她比較像媒婆而不像教授  另外不知怎地她瘦好多呢

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令人欽佩的主任發聲了!家暴、性加害者是她的專長領域喔~
【聯合報╱陳若璋/東華大學心理諮商輔導中心主任(花縣壽豐)】
 2009.10.20 03:59 am

這幾天,王雪峰的家暴事件,讓許多人不勝唏噓。

在媒體的追挖下,許多家庭皆有的難唸的經,全攤在眾人面前,這些其實也只是反映出婚暴家庭典
型的暴力導火線;令人不安的是,王雪峰在揭露其嚴重受虐後,竟 然在其夫婿王作良簡單道歉後,
又畏畏縮縮的隨他回家去;而其夫婿的所謂道歉也是心不甘情不願,並指稱他才是受害者。接下來
,婆婆也加入戰局,似乎讓爭執會 越演越烈,但在山雨欲來風滿樓的當下,小兩口又衣著整齊地上
教堂去了,媒體追蹤到此之結論是「兩人的關係實在讓人霧裡看花」。

兩人的關係讓人霧裡看花?不!這只不過是典型婚暴關係反映出的行為模式而已。

這只不過是反映了Walker的暴力循環論,而循環論提醒大眾,妻子回到夫家後,不會就此王子公主
過著幸福美滿的日子。原來的爭執未解決,壓力會再度上 升,之後又開始毆打,而後兩人的關係就
在家庭內外逃避及毆打的循環間環繞。而王雪峰的行為模式也幾乎就是典型的「被毆婦女症狀」特質
,如低自尊、沒自信, 相信「再給他一次機會,問題就會解決」。

婚暴若已形成了某種固定的行為模式,要靠兩造自己化解,通常極為困難,社工、心理師的介入刻
不容緩;在介入的當中,應對這樣不願脫離婚姻關係的婦女進行安 全計畫的擬定與教育,協助婦女
做好安全措施,明白如何保障自己的安全,並且培養婦女自主性與賦權能力,突破陰影,重新掌控
生活。

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  • Oct 11 Sun 2009 21:27
  • 置頂 友善

到土城參觀輔導員的案子 後面是同學的媽媽

和青規師夥伴及輔導員約好一起到土城參加烤肉

這次有時間可以漫步親民交談瞭解  接受一群市民農園小園主的熱情

竟然每位遇到的媽媽或大哥都非常熱心的送我們東西

遇鄭媽媽菜園時   看到我們喜歡某植物就剪一段下來給插枝

順手摘一顆香水檸檬送我們

聊到她種的金橘簇又興奮的送我們一株回家種

一時間心中覺得身在台北市的世外桃源

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嘴唇上長出奇怪的突起物,會疼會腫,下班後去看醫生,一進診間敘述病況後,

女醫生探頭看我嘴巴接著就說:「最近打啵打太多囉~」再看了我一下後大笑,

我感到小困窘外也驚了一下,這醫生真不像我所曾遇到的醫生會和病人開玩笑耶!

後來她說要正經,是因為我最近熬夜太多免疫力降低所以才引發濾過性病毒,最好

的藥方就是「早睡覺」,我承認這幾天都很晚睡,然後乖乖回答醫生要早睡。

 

不過那為女醫生玩性很重,說「記得最近不要打啵阿~這樣會傳染給很多人喔!」

讓我又笑出來,這醫生感覺挺親切的,以後應該會常來光顧。

 

所以阿,最近不要偷親我喔,這樣會有代價的XD

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剛好翻報紙看到,覺得很不錯就找來分享囉!

August 29, 2009
Shortcuts

For Best Results, Take the Sting Out of Criticism

By ALINA TUGEND

THIS may come as a surprise, but I don’t like criticism. I prefer constant praise and approval from my friends, family and bosses.

On the other hand, I feel that my friends, family and bosses should be open and accepting of any criticism I offer — always given constructively, of course.

Does the adage “you can dish it out but you can’t take it” apply here?

All right, I exaggerate a little. I don’t hate criticism. Professionally, for example, I would rather have someone take my work seriously and offer valid — even if somewhat negative — comments than be indifferent or bestow meaningless compliments.

The trick, however, is to learn to both give and receive criticism well. If we hear any comments that are less than positive as an attack, then we discard anything useful that the critic has to say. But taking all criticism to heart, no matter how unhelpful, isn’t beneficial, either.

“Most people say feedback is important, but the hidden message is, ‘as long as it’s good.’ ” said Robert Brooks, an assistant clinical professor of psychology at Harvard Medical School.

Although it may seem easier to give criticism than to take it, that’s not always the case, at least not if you want to do it right. Leon F. Seltzer, a clinical psychologist who has written extensively on this subject, differentiates between criticism and feedback. In a blog he writes for Psychology Today, he notes that:

¶Criticism is judgmental and accusatory. It can involve labeling, lecturing, moralizing and even ridiculing. Feedback focuses on providing concrete information to motivate the recipient to reconsider his or her behavior.

¶Criticism involves making negative assumptions about the other person’s motives. Feedback reacts not to intent but the actual result of the behavior.

¶Criticism, poorly given, often includes advice, commands and ultimatums, making the person receiving it feel defensive and angry — and undermines any benefits. Feedback, on the other hand, looks less at how the person should change, but tries to prompt a discussion about the benefits of change.

This last point is one that Darren Gurney, a high school teacher in New Rochelle, N.Y., has thought a lot about. Mr. Gurney also coaches high school and college baseball teams and runs a summer baseball camp that my sons love. He has found that one of the most effective ways to criticize a player is not to tell him what he did wrong, but ask him to analyze what he thinks he could have done better.

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進到社會工作後 發現到哪工作都奇妙

<Email上癮症老闆>

part 1

早上月報時間已到  老闆想知道遲來的姊姊是怎樣的狀況,竟要我發email問她

(緊急時刻妳竟然是發email?!)

我:「我覺得這時候打電話應該比較好耶...也可順便問一下她現在的位置」

老闆:「也是齁,那就打電話給她吧~」

(無言)

part 1

早上忙著做別的事情,中午吃飯和老闆聊得不錯,吃完飯休息一下繼續早上

的工作,忽然想起要看一下公司的信箱,赫然看到早上10點多時老闆有寄信

來,點開內容是告訴我忘記清洗茶壺,頓時想偷笑,明明就坐在兩公尺內,

竟然要用Email來交待這樣的事情,且中午吃飯隻字未提,被打敗。

 

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